Not Replaceable

“Most older couples I know who’ve done it right speak often of a sense of ‘absolute loyalty, period.’ That sort of thing is not replaceable with a younger model. The deep assurance that ‘this person has my back, always, I need never doubt that.’ That’s love forged in the hellish foxholes of life, and you can’t manufacture it. It’s strong as all get out, too. Much of how the whole M/F dynamic works is so counterintuitive to what women, especially, are taught. For instance do you think my (admittedly fantastic) husband has never had a dumb idea? Of course he has. And when he did, I gave him my opinion. Then (because he wanted to do this), I followed. Unreservedly. And when it fails? You smile, and you help him pick up the pieces, without recriminations. Feminists will tell you that this behavior will get you a lifetime of opression. Nope. What it got me was a husband who values both me and my opinion more than anything on the planet. And one who is more careful about his decisions, not less so – because he knows that I’m following, no matter what. It’s counterintuitive to moderns. He listens more closely to my opinions on decisions than most ‘egalitarian’ husbands do. Why? Because he trusts me not to undermine. By the same token, he has proven to me, over and over, that he is never going to discount me or make decisions selfishly. Ever.”

– @FormerlyFormer (via Twitter)


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