Wilson: A Disruption

“Courtship reveals how necessary this masculinity is. Many modern young men approach a girl, and they are quite serious as far as their intentions go, but they are afraid of interfering with her life. ‘You know, she is going to graduate soon, but she wants to go to school at Notre Dame, and showing interest in her would really disrupt all her plans.’ But the whole point of courtship is to disrupt a young lady’s plans. A godly young woman is not going to stand around waiting for marriage. Rather, she will be preparing herself for marriage. This means she will be heading in some particular direction, and not just marking time. A young man should not be afraid of disrupting, because marriage is by its very nature a disruption of her previous way of life. But there are many guys who have an ‘excuse me for existing’ kind of attitude – which is not very masculine – when it comes to a potentially serious relationship with a young woman. This kind of apologetic, hand-wringing ‘masculinity’ is not what parents should want to instill in their sons. A son must not be afraid to take the initiative in such matters.”

– Douglas Wilson, Her Hand in Marriage (p. 38-39)



  1. Hey, I nominated you for a “Liebster Award.” No pressure to participate in the festivities, I just wanted to acknowledge my appreciation for your blog.


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